“Catalina, what’re you doing?”
“Oh nothing.” I found her puttering away in the corner of my workshop in the basement. The same space she’d conned me out of a few weeks ago when she was spilling state secrets. I’d been sidetracked by a phone call on my way to search her out half an hour ago and all but forgotten. “Why does your ‘oh nothing’ smell like sulfur?”
“It’s nothing daddy, just a little experiment.”
“Uh huh.” I’m finding a convent for her ass first thing.
“Guess what daddy?” Oh fuck.
“What baby?” I wasn’t getting anywhere near whatever the fuck that was she was doing. I was already biding my time to make my escape. Maybe her mom knew what the hell she was up to in my basement.
“Aiden pulled my hair and called me a brat.”
“He what?” I was headed back up the stairs for his lil ass. He knows the rules; never put your hands on your sisters.
“Oh daddy don’t get mad, get even. That’s what nana said.”
“Which one?” I stopped in my tracks, that shit don’t sound too good.
“Nana Elena.” She gave me what I can only term as the Dr. Evil grin.
Shit! Fuck, what was she making over there anyway?
I got out of dodge and went looking for her mom. I passed Aiden on the way and pulled him up short. “You hit your little sister?”
“Dad she glued all my baseball cards together, then she did something to the bike because I told her she couldn’t have a ride.” Shit, that was bad, still. I gave him my best father stare. The little shit tried to stare me down but that shit wasn’t about to work. The women in this house might run my ass but the boys get no play.
“Sorry dad, I’ll go apologize.” He hung his head and looked none too happy about it.
“Better wait on that one kid, I think she’s making up some kinda witch’s brew for you.”
“What? Dad, last time she did that I lost my hair.”
“Dem’s the breaks son.” He followed me down the hallway griping.
“Well what am I supposed to do?” I think everyone was scared of my Catalina, I can’t say that I blame them.
“Call Daniel and Elena or Drake and Tina, maybe one of them will let you live with them ‘til she calms down.”
“Daaaadddd, do something.”
“I’ll think about it, now you’ll remember next time not to put your hands on your sister.”
“But she’s always…” He caught that look again and piped the fuck down. “No excuse, ever.”
“Yes sir.” He slinked off to his room and I went to find the wife. She was in the kitchen already, cooking something that smelt almost as good as she did. I walked up and wrapped my arms around her, rubbing my ever-ready cock into her ass and she turned her lips up for a real kiss. She smelt like baby and heat and I loved her so much it was stupid.
“By the way, Catalina wants a puppy.” She turned back to her pots.
“Come on Colton, I’m surprised none of the others have asked before now. Why can’t our little girl have another pet?”
“Do you have any idea what that kid can do with a puppy?”
“What’s she gonna do with it?”
Like she don’t know. Our family dog was too big for her to fuck with thank fuck, but a puppy, hell no.
“Kat, I don’t know how to tell you this but that one’s just not right.” I tapped the side of my head so she’d get my meaning. As usual when I said anything about her badass kids she got pissed. “I wish you’d stop saying that.”
“Too bad, it’s the truth. She’s either gonna live with us for the rest of her life, or she’ll be doing fifteen to life in the near future. Do you know what she’s doing right now as we speak?”
“A school project, why?”
“School project my ass, she’s concocting something to fuck with her brother for pulling her hair.” I have to admit that’s some shit that I would’ve done, but if this kid turns out to be that much like me, my ass was toast. The others were all pretty manageable but that one? Fuck me; it was like doing penance or some shit. “Well did you stop her?” Shit.
“Elena, it’s not going to work I’m telling you, he’s on the warpath.” I waited until later that night to make the call.
“You leave him to me I know just how to work him.”
That’s what she thinks, that’s what she always thinks, but it never happens quite the way she plans. And why after all these years do I still follow? Because I’m holding out hope for that one time we actually win.
Colton Lyon has not changed, in fact he’s grown worse with time not better. Every year he finds some new way to torture me, and the kids and curtail our freedoms to the point that going to the supermarket is a national security experiment. Nothing gets by him, and I’m pretty sure he has half the town spying for him.
I feel bad for poor Caitlin because I know that when the time comes for her to leave the nest, which no matter how much Colt tries to put it off will be in the next few years, there’s going to be hell to pay.
“I’d better get off the phone now before his highness catches me and goes off on one of his tirades again. Please do whatever it is that you’ve got planned soon, Thanksgiving is in a few days and before you know it it’ll be Xmas and the kids need an answer soon.”
I don’t see what the big deal is about Caitie spending part of the day at Todd’s. The boy has dinner with us at least once a week, but Caitie has never been allowed to go to his house in return. Colt seems to think that I’m such a dunce that I don’t know about teenagers and that somehow I’m going to let my daughter run wild.
Little does he know that we’ve already had the sex talk and I’m satisfied that my daughter has a good head on her shoulders. He doesn’t know we’ve had the talk because he’d have a conniption if he ever found out that I mentioned the word sex to his precious firstborn before she was at least twenty-one. I’ve never seen….
“What the fuck are you plotting now?” See what I mean?
“Nothing whatever gave you that idea?” I hurried and hung up the phone.
“Who’s that, Elena?”
“Uh-huh, whatever the fuck it is it won’t work. I have to make a run today you need anything while I’m gone?”
“Just a husband with some understanding, that would be good for a change.”
“I’ve got understanding Kat, I understand that if you don’t stop your shit your ass isn’t gonna be able to sit for a week. The last time your nosy ass kids looked at you cross eyed for days, I don’t think they’re gonna buy your excuses this time.”
“Colton, can you please go do whatever it is that you’re doing, you’re making me tired.”
“I’m not making you shit, it’s all that sneaking around shit you and mom are always doing. No wonder dad hits the pipe as much as he does, it’s his escape. Well you’re not turning me into a fucking pothead, it’s going to be your ass every time.”
I had to change the subject quick before he got it into his head to get things out of me. He’s been on high alert since the last family dinner, and like I’d told Elena we had to move soon if we were gonna get Caitie her last Xmas dinner with her friend before he moved away. I wouldn’t push so hard if it weren’t important to her, but it was. I knew just the thing to take his mind off of stuff.
“Daddy, I need stuff.” Saved by the child.
“Dammit...” He cut himself off as he looked around at our youngest daughter. “Didn’t I tell you about sneaking up on me? How long you been slinking around back there?”
Watching the two of them was like taking in a comedy act. I think little Catalina is the only breathing thing that actually makes Colt sweat, and she does it so effortlessly too.
“I wasn’t slinking daddy honest, so you gonna get me my stuff?”
“What is it?”
“Just stuff for school.”
He looked at the piece of paper she held out to him like it was going to bite him, before taking it from her and unfolding it. “What the hell are you going to do with sulfuric acid?”
Oh boy. She stared up at him, all him, that’s what their problem was. This one child of ours for whatever reason, was the carbon copy of her dad. I can’t wait for the day he figures that out it ought to be good.
“Daddy it’s for my science project.”
“Your teacher gave you this list? Kat get that school on the phone, what the fuck are we paying them for, to turn this one into a criminal?”
“Colton I’m sure there’s been a mix-up I’ll handle it, don’t you have to go?”
“Trying to get rid of me are you, I wonder why.”
“Nobody’s trying to get rid of you-you paranoid person.”
He was getting red in the face again and mumbled something as our girl walked out the room. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with this man, he’s gonna give himself a coronary and what I was about to tell him was only gonna set him off again; might as well get it over with.